I’m Taking Over

What’s up ladies, this is Spencer, the world-renowned bearded male supermodel you see alongside Kristi in many of these family photos that she does. I’m also known as her husband. I’m taking over the blog today to give you a little more insight into my side of the story on how all these family photos come together. Kristi gets asked all the time, “How do you get your husband to be in all these pictures? My husband/boyfriend would never do it!”

This time of year is huge for family photos. With frequent family gatherings, Christmas cards, and themed parties with friends, the photo opportunities abound. We recently took some Christmas-themed family photos with Megan from Maewood Photgraphy and I thought that sharing those would be a great time for me to hijack the blog and answer that question that Kristi always gets asked!

So I’m here to tell you how it all really goes down! I can’t promise that after you read this you’ll have the magic formula to get your man to be all about family photos. But you will have a little bit of a better understanding about the man beside Shoptini, and my top 5 tips you can try to maybe get your guy to be a little more agreeable to your next photo opp.

Understanding the Basics of Family Photos

Here’s the deal, we need to be real about a something first. Photo shoots are not anywhere close to the top of a dude’s “Things I’d like to do today” list. Typically they fall somewhere between cutting the grass with safety scissors and running a marathon backwards in flip flops. The sooner you accept this fundamental fact, the sooner you’ll be able to benefit from the tips in this post!

Listen, I’m no different. I’m not a huge fan of photo shoots. I do enjoy the results, but the actual shoots really aren’t my thing. On top of that, Kristi and I have very different points of view on pictures. With family pictures, she likes to have us all put together and perfectly coordinated. Her goal is an everyone looking at the camera, smiling, eyes open, magazine-quality picture. You can imagine how hard that unicorn is to hunt when you have a toddler with enough restless energy to power a small town.

I, on the other hand, love the candid family photos that capture a real moment as it happens. Like the open-mouth, squinty-eyed, crinkled-nose, snot-bubble face of genuine laughter. It’s not always pretty, but you can plainly see that person was really having fun!

Kristi is also all about coordinating outfits. Matchy matchy. Everyone has to look like they came out of the same phone booth. Me? No thanks. I’ve never understood why people dress their families for pictures in a way that they would NEVER dress them at any other time. When was the last time you saw a family of 4 wearing matching outfits out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory? I can’t remember either.

But this is all typical. The girl usually loves getting pictures taken, and the guy is usually counting the milliseconds until he can check the score of the game between shots. If this sounds familiar, don’t fret. There’s still hope. Remember, us dudes are simple. All this means is that that you and your man are normal.

So How Does it Happen?

Now based on all that info, you’re now probably REALLY wondering how she gets me to do all these family photos. Truthfully, though, if your man is reluctant to go along with getting photos taken, I totally understand. If it was up to me, I would do one, maybe two, of these shoots a year. But there are a few reasons that I go along with them.

Firstly, they are Kristi’s thing. They make her happy. And I love to see her happy. Since the day I met her, the girl has been obsessed with pictures. This is what led me to hire a photographer to secretly capture the moment when I proposed to Kristi. So if your man has done this for you, you’re welcome. I started that trend back in 2011. B) The pictures that result from these shoots are usually really good and great for framing around the house to show off how cute our kid is. And it’s great to see the progression of our family. 4) We sometimes get to go to some pretty cool places to take the pictures. Places I might not otherwise go. And F), it makes me look like the best husband ever when she shares the pics with all you girls! Again, dudes are simple.

The Good Stuff

Alright now, gather ‘round and listen closely! Here comes the meat and taters! Below are my top 5 ways to get your man to put up less of a fight the next time you ask him to get family photos taken with you. I can’t guarantee full compliance (I’d have to charge you for that), but I can say with some level of confidence that he will be more willing to participate.

Let him pick his clothes. If you’re a matchy matchy kind of girl, give him a set of colors to stay within, but let him pick his clothes. Telling him exactly what he has to wear will not start him off in a mood to say cheese.
Let him be himself. He’ll be much more willing to participate if he can stay in his comfort zone. If he’s a jokester and likes to be goofy, let him. Maybe he is on the quieter shy side, so don’t try to make him do silly or weird poses for the camera. But if he’s mean and snooty, tell him to stop it. Nobody likes that.
Bring Snacks. This will actually help everyone out. Make sure to bring enough for yourself and anyone else involved, including the photographer. Everyone operates better with a little food in their belly. Bonus points if you bring his favorite cookies or chips…and beer.
Press the pause button. If the shoot lasts longer than an hour, take a short break every 15-20 minutes. Let him check the scores, take a quick walk, or just sit in silence and not smile. It will be a welcome reprieve from the shoot. Plus, it will give you a chance to review pics with the photographer and talk through the next few shots.
HAVE FUN! Sounds simple, but this is huge. If you are stressing about getting that perfect pic, he will too. If you’re being a demanding, bossy, not-fun person, then he’s not going to be all about getting that “pretend we’re laughing” photo you’re trying to get. Have fun, keep the mood light, laugh at yourselves, be silly, and don’t take it too seriously. The photos will reflect your actual mood. And real smiles shine brighter than forced ones every time.

Bonus Tip. Say “Thank you.” Let him know you really appreciate him doing the family photos with you. Gratitude goes a long way!

The Bottom Line

And there it is! If you put these 5 things into practice, and I mean really be sincere about it, there’s a good chance your guy will be much more willing to participate. For the record, there is a 6^th way too, but Kristi told me that this isn’t that kind of blog.

Anyway, I hope this has been helpful and enlightening for you. If nothing else, I hope it was slightly entertaining and a nice break from the spreadsheet you’re working on.

To be completely honest, I do the photo shoots because I know they are special to Kristi. And she is special to me. Supporting and loving her isn’t really a choice, I just can’t help it. We’re partners. And we love and support each other. I don’t necessarily love all the same things she loves, but I love that she loves them. And she does the same for me. So when it all comes down to it, love your man for who he is and what he loves. And if he’s a good man, he’ll do the same for you.